Grumpy Mom

Me: Curling up in the recliner with my blanket

Bear: Blanket! (Runs over to grab the blanket to pull it off the chair)

Me: Bear, you are going to have a very grumpy Mom instead of a mostly grumpy Mom if you don’t leave my blanket alone (pulls the corner out of Bear’s mouth)

Bear: Blanket!!! (Grabs another section of blanket and starts pulling)

At this point the TV remote slides off my lap and onto the floor

Bear: Toy!!! (Drops the blanket, grabs the remote and runs at top speed to the back door)

Bear: I need out Mom, NOW!

Me: Give me the remote and you can go out

Bear: No! I need a toy to carry out

Me: Fine, but you aren’t taking the remote (has to catch Bear around his ribs and hold him to get the remote out of his mouth)

Bear: I don’t want to go out now!

Me: Of course not…

Employment Needed

Me: Bear, stop( As I notice out of the corner of my eye Bear walking a little oddly out the back door)

Bear: Mumble (he stops halfway out the door)

Me: What do you have in your mouth?

Bear: Mumble (Standing still)

Me: If you can’t speak clearly it’s not nothing, back up and let me see.

Bear: (Takes a couple steps backwards to reveal my tennis shoe.)

Me: Hmmm I guess I didn’t put them up last time (walking over to bear) let me have the shoe.

Bear: (Locks his jaws but eventually lets me have the shoe with no new holes.)

Me: Did you manage to get the other out in the backyard already?

Bear: Ummm no?

Me: That’s funny, I see it out in your favorite spot for toys.

Bear: Mom! I want to play with them.

Me: You’ll need to get a job first sweetie.

Bear: Mom!!!