Mother! There are NO toys in the back yard!
I wonder there this one came from…
Me: Curling up in the recliner with my blanket
Bear: Blanket! (Runs over to grab the blanket to pull it off the chair)
Me: Bear, you are going to have a very grumpy Mom instead of a mostly grumpy Mom if you don’t leave my blanket alone (pulls the corner out of Bear’s mouth)
Bear: Blanket!!! (Grabs another section of blanket and starts pulling)
At this point the TV remote slides off my lap and onto the floor
Bear: Toy!!! (Drops the blanket, grabs the remote and runs at top speed to the back door)
Bear: I need out Mom, NOW!
Me: Give me the remote and you can go out
Bear: No! I need a toy to carry out
Me: Fine, but you aren’t taking the remote (has to catch Bear around his ribs and hold him to get the remote out of his mouth)
Bear: I don’t want to go out now!
Me: Of course not…
Bear, don’t eat the book
Bear, don’t eat the table leg
Bear, don’t eat the recliner
Bear, stop moving the rug (What is it about that rug?)
BEAR, the cats are NOT squeaky toys!
Betsy! Bear is not a squeaky toy!
Me: Bear, stop( As I notice out of the corner of my eye Bear walking a little oddly out the back door)
Bear: Mumble (he stops halfway out the door)
Me: What do you have in your mouth?
Bear: Mumble (Standing still)
Me: If you can’t speak clearly it’s not nothing, back up and let me see.
Bear: (Takes a couple steps backwards to reveal my tennis shoe.)
Me: Hmmm I guess I didn’t put them up last time (walking over to bear) let me have the shoe.
Bear: (Locks his jaws but eventually lets me have the shoe with no new holes.)
Me: Did you manage to get the other out in the backyard already?
Bear: Ummm no?
Me: That’s funny, I see it out in your favorite spot for toys.
Bear: Mom! I want to play with them.
Me: You’ll need to get a job first sweetie.