Gravity

Bear: Mom!!! (Jumping into my lap while I'm sitting in the recliner)

Tramp: Mom!! (Landing on the one spot on my leg Bear hasn't taken over)

Me:  Bear, good grief you are getting heavy.  (Struggling to move the rather heavy and wiggly puppy to a less painful place in the recliner)

Bear: Put the leg thing up!

Tramp: Yeah! We can all fit then

Me: (Raising the leg rest) Just be careful, it won't hold you up if you get on the end of it.

Bear: Sure it will, we've done this lots!

Tramp: (Stretching out against my leg)

Bear: (Lays down on the other side of tramp and notices Betsy on the floor)

Me: Bear, the leg rest won't hold you up if you scoot out much more. 

Bear: (Crawling out to the end of the leg rest to look over at Betsy) See Mom it's fine!

Me: (Feeling the leg rest start to move) Sure Sweetie…

Bear:(Stands up quickly)

 

The leg rest folds, Tramp and Bear go flying off the recliner. The leg rest pops back up.

 

Bear: Mother! You did that on purpose!

Tramp: Yeah! That's not fair!!!

Me: (Laughing) And I suppose it's my fault you are getting so big.

Bear: Yes! I don't think I'm going to sit with you again

Tramp: Yeah right, I'm snuggling with Mom. (Hops back up next to me leg and lays down)

Bear: Wait! I get to sit with Mom too! (Jumps back on the chair and plops down, causing the leg rest to fold again…)

 

Coffee Bear

Me:  (Walking back to the recliner to find Bear sitting very still in the chair)

Bear: (Quickly getting down)

Me: (Looking around and noticing several black hair on the inside rim of my coffee cup) Bear, did you drink my coffee?

Bear: uhh Nope

Me: Are you sure?  I don't remember seeing black hair in it before.

Bear: Nope, I wouldn't drink your stuff!

Me: (taking the cup to the kitchen to pour it out and get a new one.)

 

Several seconds pass

 

Bear: Mom? Why would you drink something that tastes that bad?

Me: (grinning now) With the single exception of Rachel's crazy dog, none of you furbabies like it so I generally don't end up having get new drinks all the time. Besides, I like the flavor.

Bear: (Wrinkles his nose)

Me: Bear? How do you know it tastes bad if you didn't drink out of my cup?

Bear: (Freezes for a second then launches at me) Bear Kisses!!!! You need Bear Kisses!!!!

 

Encouragement

Tramp: Mom! Bear is stealing my blankets!

Me: (Walking into the room with their kennels) Bear?

Bear: (Dragging Tramp’s blankets into his kennel) What?

Me: What are you doing?

Bear: I want more blankets

Me: Two towels, one sheet and a blanket isn’t enough?

Bear: No!

Me: Wait, how exactly did you get his blankets, he has a small kennel.

Bear: Like this (Squeezes into the kennel designed for dogs up to 20 pounds, “turns around” and comes back out, head first)

Me: Wow, I’m impressed, how on earth did you turn around in there?

Tramp: MOTHER, Do NOT encourage him!

Me: Right, like it’s going to make a difference in what he does.

Bear: So can I keep the blankets?

Tramp: NO

Me: No, but if you want I will wash all of yours so they will be clean and warm tonight

Bear: (Launches into his kennel) No!!!!!!!

Tramp: (Grabs his blanket and drags it back to his kennel mumbling)

Gravity Works

Bear: (Climbing onto the recliner with me carrying the Christmas puppy toy that barks.)

Me: (Squeezing the dog to start it barking) Sweetie, don’t drop the toy

Bear: Ok Mom (drops the toy)

Me: (Leaning down to get the toy) Bear, I just told you to not drop the toy

Bear: (Taking the toy back) Sorry Mom (Drops the toy on top of Betsy) Mom! Betsy took my toy!

Betsy: Really??

Me: (Reaching down to pick the toy up off Betsy’s shoulder) Bear, one more time and you are following the toy.

Bear: Mom, that’s no fair! (Turns his head so it looks like he dropped it again)

Me: (Leaning down to make sure the toy didn’t hit Betsy)

Bear: (Holding the toy by the tip of one of the antlers) Ha Mom! I fooled you. (Drops toy) Uh-oh.

Starving with Puppy Food

Bear: (Carrying one of the food dishes) Mom!!! Betsy ate all the food, I’m starving to death!!!

Me: Starving? Really??

Bear: (Shaking food dish, then drops it) Yes! It’s empty!

Me: Did you by any chance notice the other 3 mostly full food dishes?

Bear: No! This is MY dish and Betsy ate all my food!

Me: Tell me again when this became your food dish? I could have sworn the one in your kennel with the puppy food was yours.

Bear: Yuck! I hate puppy food!

Me: I noticed.

Bear: (Picks up food dish and drops it again) Mom! Starving here!!

Me: Why don’t you go kennel so you can eat?

Bear: Mom!!!

Me: Bear!!!

Bear: (Grumbles) I don’t know why you make me eat the puppy food anyway, I’m a big boy!

Betsy: Puppy food? Where?? I want puppy food!!

Bear: No way Betsy! That’s MY food, you can’t have any!!! (Runs to kennel) Mom, hurry up and let me in!