Category: Bear


Squirrels!!!

Bear: So, I’ve been thinking.
Tramp: Dude! Pretty sure Mom does NOT like it when you do that.
Bear: We haven’t had a Tramp story in like forever.
Tramp: Wait, What?
Bear: Yeah, I want to tell a story about you!
Tramp: Uh, no. Mother!!! Bear is getting in Trouble!!!
Bear: She’s busy, she won’t hear you.
Tramp: Busy? After how you’ve been for the past couple of days? Seriously?
Bear: (Grumbles) She made me take my morning “nap” said it worked like a charm and went off to do “something”.
Tramp: (Snorts) Nap? Hahaha
Bear: So, ever tell all our friends why you have a harness for walks now instead of a collar?
Tramp: Bear!
Bear: (Snickers) We were on one of our walks at our park. Mom had found this great open spot so we were working on training. Tramp had already has his turn with all his tricks and Mom was helping me get better with mine.
Tramp: Which always takes longer than everyone else….
Bear: Hey! Anyway, Tramp is really, really short which is kinda important to this story, little tiny legs.
Tramp: (Snorts) I know where you sleep brat.
Bear: While Mom’s attention is completely on me where it should be.
Tramp: (Sigh)
Bear: Tramp sees a squirrel across the clearing on a tree. He kinda forgets he’s attached to Mom and goes after the squirrel. She always links our leashes and he’s got short legs so he was running at full speed by the time Mom realized what was going on and he hit the end of the leash.
Tramp: (Tucks his head under his paws)
Bear: Mom swears he almost hung himself he was running so fast. We had to walk slowly back to the car because he was coughing the whole way. He was fine a little bit later but he had a pretty new harness a couple of days later.
Tramp: Yup! Mom says there are too many squirrels in Texas for her to chance that again!

This is How We Make Dinner

In an effort to not break any bones due to tripping over all the little bodies who squeeze into my itty, bitty, little kitchen when I’m trying to make dinner I have started a new ritual.

It goes something like this:

Pull out 6 chew toys (no I haven’t gotten any more dogs)
Give one to each of the dogs, throw the extra two in the living room and scare the cats.
Head back into the wonderfully empty kitchen and start dinner.
Work quickly.
Get dinner a little more than half way done.
Trip over Tramp who is looking lost and has no chew toy.
Make a little more progress on dinner.
Trip over Rommie who looks downright upset and is missing a chew toy.
Look in kitchen doorway.
Wave at Lady since she doesn’t like walking on the kitchen floor she is standing in the doorway, no chew toy.
Finish dinner, carefully stepping over Tramp and Rommie.
Walk out into dinning room, find Bear surrounded by five chew toys and chewing on the sixth.
That’s my boy…

No Dustbunnies Here!

Me: (Quietly getting broom and dust pan)
Tramp: (From hallway) She’s sweeping!
Me: SIGH (Heads into kitchen)
Bear and Tramp: (Run into kitchen at full speed)
Me: (Starts sweeping at far end of kitchen, lots of shedded Bear fur)
Bear: (Plops down in doorway, no dust-bunnies will escape this exit)
Tramp: (Starts stalking the building dust pile as I get it about halfway down the kitchen)
Me: Tramp…
Tramp: (Pounces, scattering dust in all directions)
Bear: (Joins the fun and slides by sending most of the dust right back where it started.)
Me: (Going to other end of kitchen, starting from that end. Gets dust a little more than halfway, thinking positive thoughts)
Bear: (ATTACKS dust pile, scatters it in all directions)
Tramp: (In hot pursuit, jumps and lands on broom, looks at me)
Me: Boys! The point of this job is to get all the dust in ONE place so I can pick it up.
Bear: Nu-uh!
Tramp: Really? We’ve never done that before!
Me: I know, I normally give up after about 20 minutes and send you two outside so I can finish.
Bear: (Pounces on another patch of dust)
Tramp: Let me guess we’re going out?
Bear: Out? I want to go out!
Me: Let’s go out!!!

The Toy!

Normal day in my life:

I open the bathroom door, Bear carpet in place across threshold guarding door, Tramp sitting a few feet back monitoring door for any unusual activity. Both dogs look at me, Bear hops up, both head to the living room.

Day one of my not normal days:

I open the bathroom door, no Bear carpet. No Tramp. I walk into the living room, see Bear sitting in front of the couch looking at the fireplace. Tramp, sitting on the couch, looking at the front door. All seems to be fine until I see Rommie, she is glaring at me. Suddenly I realize The Toy, check on my bed where this treasured toy resides and it’s gone.

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Before I go on with this story I will explain. The Toy is Rommie’s toy. She isn’t a dog that plays with toys very much but she loves this toy because my daughter gave her this toy, she sleeps with it every night like a pillow. It was a gift and it’s hers. This also makes this Toy the hottest commodity in the house.

I head to Bear’s kennel and find The Toy in the back corner (of course). Once I have captured the toy, crawled back out of Bear’s kennel through Bear and gotten back to my bedroom surviving all manner of attempts to stop me I put The Toy up on the shelf for the rest of the day.

Day Two of my not normal days:

I open the bathroom door, Bear carpet, more than a little crooked across the threshold, no Tramp. Bear jumps up and heads directly for his kennel. I look at the bed and notice a missing Toy. I walk out of the bedroom to a glaring Rommie. When I get to Bears kennel I see a corner of The Toy peaking out from under one of his blankets. I climb back in his kennel rescue The Toy and put it up for the day.

Day Three of my not normal days:

I open the bathroom door, Bear carpet back in place, Tramp watching the door, all is good. I walk into the living room and Rommie glares at me. Yup, toy is gone, the boys are getting good.

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My morning ritual now includes putting The Toy up. If I manage to forget, Bear invites me into his kennel to retrieve the toy, Rommie makes sure I do.

A weak mommy moment

Bear: (Spends evening covering living room with fluff.)
Me: Bedtime! (Kennels Bear and Tramp, gives bedtime treats, head back to living room and clean up fluff and toys)

Next morning

Me: (Lets boys out of kennels, fakes cheerful voice) Good morning Boys
Bear: Hi Mom!
Tramp: Yeah right.
Bear: (Trotting down hallway, turns corner to living room, stops in his tracks) Whoa, what happened?
Me: Keep going Bear, time to go out!
Bear: The fluff! All my fluff is gone! I worked on that all night long!
Tramp: Dude, grumbling at Mom first thing in the morning? Bad idea.
Me: No kidding, the kettle hasn’t even started warming the water yet.
Bear: Mother, we need to talk about this when I get back.
Me: Go for it. (Locking door, wondering if it duct tape would seal it permanently)

Bear: (Hits door handle a little while later to be let in)
Me: (Opens door )
Bear: (Sits in front of me with stern puppy look) Mother, I worked all night long to get all of the fluff just how I wanted it in the living room. I was looking forward to playing with it today.
Me: (Gives up trying to hide smile and covers face with hands) Oh baby Bear I’m so sorry. (Sits down in front of Bear) I didn’t realize you had done that on purpose you didn’t tell me. I must have had a weak mommy moment and cleaned the living room. I am so sorry! (Acts very upset, hands still covering face)

Everyone is very quiet.

Tramp: (Jumps in my lap and starts licking my chin)
Lady: I’m pretty sure she’s faking
Rommie: I am so not getting involved.
Bear: Um Mom, it’s ok, (bumps my hands with nose) I’m not mad, I should have told you. Mom?
Me: So you’re not mad? (I mumble through my hands)
Bear: Nope, not mad
Me: (Grabs Bear in hug) I want a Bear Kiss!
Bear: (Wiggles out of my reach) Mother! You were faking!
Me: Of course I was, a weak mommy moment? Really?
Bear: That is so not fair! (Stalks off to his kennel)

Scritch Magic – Take two

Bear: (Walking out of hallway with one of my socks in his mouth)
Me: Bear! Give me that!
Bear: (Walks towards me, picking up every toy in his mouth on the way so they are in front of the sock. He’s up to five fitting in his mouth. Sits in front of me, jaws locked, mouth full of toys, sock no longer visible)
Me: SIGH (Digs toys out one by one, gets to extremely soggy sock and pulls it out of Bear’s mouth)
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: My sock, go away.
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: No!
Bear: (Puts head on my leg, gives me sad puppy eyes)
Me: (Scritches nose, head, ears, neck) There, go play now.
Bear: Yay! (Heads off to play)
Me: Scritch magic worked again!

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