The Rumor Mill

Lady: Noise! I heard a noise!

Betsy: Noise! Scary Noise! Lady heard a Noise!

Ariel from the backyard: Noise! (scratching frantically) I’m gonna die!!! Let me in!!!

Foster Mom: (Lets Ariel bounce in) Betsy? What’s Wrong?

Ariel: There was a noise!!!! We are gonna die!!!!!

Betsy: Noise!!! Scary, Scary Noise! Lady says so!!

Foster Mom: Lady?

Lady: Yeah?

Foster Mom: Scary Noise???

Ariel: Are we gonna die????

Lady: Ummm maybe not

Bear: (Yawning) What?

What is it about that car?

Anyone who knows me for more than about 2 seconds understands that I am car nut and completely insane about my car. I've been thinking a lot about the "insanity" lately. I've had her for a year now and the passion and interest has not gone away or even lessened.

So I ask, "What is it? What about this car has my attention so captivated?"

Quite simply, she keeps me present in the moment.

I don't spend most of my time thinking about the next thing that needs to be done when I'm driving. I've noticed this has moved over into other parts of my life. I now take time (weather permitting) to sit out in the back yard and enjoy watching my dogs play. I enjoy spending time with friends and focus on the time with my friends.

I feel almost like I needed to learn the skill of being present in my own life, but it was so worth the effort!

 And just in case you have stumbled on my blog and have not seen her:

Sasha’s Adventures

April 14th

Sasha's puppy rule #1 – Bite everything – If it doesn't move it's no fun. If it does move it's probably Foster Mom. hehe

April 15th

And her batteries died…

April 17th

Shasha decided to pick a fight today with Tramp. He had a paw in her chest holding her back kinda like the big kid holding the little kid in place with a hand on his forehead. She was not happy with me when I picked her up before she could get a hold of his ear. She fights dirty.

April 19th

Sasha has decided it's much easier to follow me by hanging onto my pant legs rather than the whole walking thing. She growls at me if I stop for too long…

April 20th

This is the original picture of Sasha that caused the foster request. The only good thing it shows is how much of a difference in her life I have made so far.

Sasha's Puppy rule #2 – If I trip Foster Mom enough times, she will figure I'm tired and want to go to bed…

April 26th

Puppy Foster Mom observation for the week: Dang she's gotten fast…

April 28th

Puppy Sasha's discovery for the day – Gravity works.

April 30th

Sasha's puppy rule # – Oh wait I see a cat!!!!

May 1st

The cats have sent a petition to stop Sasha from stealing their scratching post by pulling on the toy at the bottom. The dogs, who have not been chewed on much lately because of the discovery of the cat toy have shredded the petition. I wonder if I should be worried…

May 3rd

Sasha's puppy rule #3 – Innocent look, always! I'm sure Foster Mom will blame someone else for biting her toes if I can just look innocent enough.

Sasha visited Doggie Wonderland today and then went to Petsmart and took the whole store by storm, no one could resist her cuteness. She then got to play outside in the pretty weather for about 30 minutes and for the rest of the evening every time I moved she'd be curled up under my feet.

She wishes everyone good night and is looking forward to fully charged batteries in the morning.

May 4th

Sasha has figured out how to use her full 6ish pounds to move things. The cats are unhappy because NONE of their things are where they left them. Tonight she chose my laptop case to move. At the time it was holding my laptop, Ipad, notebooks and manuals since my office is being moved tonight. She worked for a long time and even growled rather loudly, somehow the evil bag did not bow to her ferocious efforts

May 5th

Sasha: I am puppy hear me growl

Me: Awww too cute

Sasha: NO! I am puppy hear me GROWL

Me:Do it again!

Sasha: I. am. puppy. hear. me. GROWL.

Me: too cute, not the response you wanted?

Sasha: Biting you now.

May 18th

Wacha doin' this morning????

Me: Sasha, we need to cuddle for a bit before we clean the house

Sasha: (wiggle) cuddle? (wiggle) What's (wiggle) that? (wiggle, wiggle)

Me: It's where you don't wiggle (Ducks from Sasha nip on chin) and don't bite and I scritch you.

Sasha:(wiggle)(chews on my fingers)(wiggle)This?(wiggle, wiggle, wiggle)

Me: (Sigh) No, let's go find your toys and put them in the toy box

Sasha: Nooooooo I spent all day putting my toys where they belong!(wiggle, wiggle, WIGGLE)

May 19th

Foster Mom what do you have?

Me: A burger from In and Out

Sasha: Ohhhh can I have some?

Me: Nope

Sasha: See this face? Its my super incredible cute face

Me: Nope

Sasha: Puppy cuteness here – how can you resist

Me: Sasha, no

Sasha: Are you really sure? Cuteness, lots and lots of cuteness.

Me: Nope…

May 28th

Sasha's back!!!

May 31st

Sasha used to be about 1/2 as big as Lady.

June 3rd

I was waiting for the water to run cool through the hose so I could fill up the water dishes in the back yard today.

Sasha: Ooooh pretty I want to play in the water

Me: Wait for a sec, the waters hot (moving the water spray before Sasha gets to it)

Me: Ok it's cool (Moving closer to Sasha

Sasha: Sweet! (bites the water spray, tries to drink from it, sticks head under water)

Sasha: Foster Mom! There's something wrong with my face!

Me: Just looks wet to me

Sasha: Noooo (rubbing nose on grass) Fix it!!!

Me: You don't like your face wet? It's really cute

Sasha: You with the cute again – Fix it!!! (starts rubbing face on my jeans)

Me: That should do it.

Sasha: Hrumph

June 5th

Me: Sasha, why is the kitchen rug in the living room

Sasha: mumble, mumble (drops corner of rug) What rug?

Me: The one you are standing in front of, it goes in front of the sink, fuzzy side up.

Sasha: But did you see I can move it all by myself now!

Me: Yes I saw that, any chance that skill works to put it back?

Sasha: But I like it here! It's next to all my other toys.

Me: Except my rug is NOT a toy

Sasha: But I can move it! See? (Starts dragging it again)

Me: Right.

June 19

Sasha: Foster Mom!!! See what I learned!! (launches her not so little furry body onto the recliner)

Me: You figured out how to jump on the recliner

Sasha: Yup! And you should see all the cool stuff I found over here

Me: You mean the coffee table where I was putting all the stuff I didn't want you to eat?

Sasha: Toys!

Me: No, not toys. (Starts moving remotes, kindle, cell phone, ect to a higher location)

Sasha: Wait! What are you doing?

Me: Puppy-proofing the coffee table

Sasha: Foster Mom, you're no fun!

June 22

Lady: Mom! She's touching me!

Sasha: Am NOT! Move over!

Lady: Mom!!! This is my chair!

Me: Sasha, what are you doing in the chair?

Sasha: I wanted to see what Lady was doing.

Lady: I was asleep!

Sasha: How was I supposed to know that?

Lady: Mom!

Sasha: Foster Mom!

Me: Sigh

June 26

It occurs to me after Sasha lands in my lap in response to the loud banging from the trash pick that she may not be guard dog material.

The challenge of fear

Several years ago I had a manager turned friend who has since retired.  She had been a true mentor in my life and even though we came from completely
different backgrounds, she taught me to have a deep interest in other cultures and to learn about where people came from in order to understand them.  One of the other loves we shared was pens and writing long hand.  The tactile pleasure we both received with different pens was a topic of many discussions through the years.  I remember the day I received my very first fountain pen, though I don’t use it every day anymore, I still have it safely stashed.  I opened the box and realized very quickly there were many more parts than I was expecting in the box.  The pen and I showed up in her office the next morning, she showed me how to put it all together and showed me how to correctly write with the pen.

I have missed her wisdom greatly since she left, she gave me a gift before she left that I doubt she ever realized she gave me.  As she was emptying her desk she found her Circa notebooks and since she would not be using them in retirement, she gave them to me so I could continue to enjoy and use them for years to come.  I still have them and still use them, years later.  They were not, however, the primary gift she gave me.

She had left some notes in the notebooks and had told me to just shred anything I didn’t need.  There was a note she had written to herself that was the first thing she saw every time she opened the notebook.  It simply said “What would you do if you weren’t afraid”.  As I moved through my days after my friend had left, I thought about this question.   I found my actions and choices changing; I started asking what I wanted, regardless of how scary it was.

I still ask this question almost every day.  Sometimes I still make the choice that is motivated by fear.  Sometimes I make less of a choice that is a compromise between fear and want.  At least now I recognize when fear is driving me rather than want.  To me, the ability to be able recognize the fear driven decision is one of the most special gifts I have been given in my life.

What about Goals

If you have done much research involving goals, you probably have seen the Yale study that says the 3% of the population who actually write their goals down accomplish 10 times more than the people who don’t.   Authorities at Yale have said the study was never done.   Since Yale’s disclaimer, other colleges have completed similar studies.  They still reflect the advantages of written goals but the difference is not as dramatic.  Generally the ratio is approximately double for the amount of written goals accomplished versus non-written.                  

There are two types of goals as I see it,  Goals and goals. 

Lowercase goals are the things we live with everyday.  The things we use to guide our lives in the direction we want to go.  These are the goals where it is helpful to write them down to help keep focus and remember why we want them. The second type, Goals, are much more fun and scary and all the really cool  intense emotions.  The difference as I see it is passion, or obsession, depending on which word has the least chance of helping me find a rubber room.   “G”oals are the ones that carry a passion and a wanting so intense that it is scary.  When we choose a Goal we never know how we are going to accomplish it, in fact, it may seem to be the impossible dream at the time.

When I have a Goal I will wake up in the middle of the night trying to figure out how, I will have mini panic attacks and I feel my stress level get stupidly high.  All the while I think maybe I shouldn’t do this or self doubt drives me to distraction, my personal favorite is “I really don’t deserve this.” This is where the passion for my Goal becomes critical.  Regardless of how many times I think it’s a bad idea or that maybe I shouldn’t be reaching for the Goal, I can’t let it go.  It is this focus that gets the Goal accomplished through all adversity.  Some gain it through writing and others get from internal focus and some don’t get at all.  So the question is; When you find your Goal, how do you maintain focus?

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