Thieves and Treats

Bear: (Comes out of my room with a sock and a shirt, heads directly to his kennel.)
Me: Bear, those aren’t toys. Bring them to me.
Bear: (Seems to have gone deaf. Gets to kennel, plops down loudly)
Me: (Following, stands in front of kennel, notices a couple of other socks behind his fuzzy body) Goodness you’ve been busy.
Bear: (Looks at me, shirt and sock still in mouth)
Me: (Squats down in front of kennel, gently opens his locked jaws, withdraws soggy shirt and sock. Climb into kennel rescues other socks, climb back out. Returns clothes to bedroom.)
Bear: (Steals lap blanket off couch, heads to kennel)
Me: Bear!
Bear: (Plops loudly in kennel)
Tramp: (Snickers)
Bear: (Laying in kennel, on top of lap blanket, looking at me)
Me: (Crawls halfway in kennel, starts Mom scritches at head, down neck, shoulders, toward tummy till Bear rolls over. I grab blanket and run to living room with Bear in hot pursuit)

A little while later

Bear: (Walks out of my bedroom with my pillow)
Me: Bear! Stop!
Bear: (Stops, looks at me)
Me: Bring that to me please.
Bear: (Brings me the pillow)
Me: (Gives Bear a couple of training treats) Thank you (Puts pillow off to the side)
Tramp: Wait! You did not just reward him for stealing your pillow, did you?
Me: No, I rewarded him for saving me the time and effort of climbing in his kennel for the third time today.
Tramp: Oh I’m pretty sure you just rewarded him for stealing
Bear: (Walks out of my bedroom with my other pillow and brings it directly to me.)
Tramp:(Snorts) Right that saved plenty of time!

The Damaged Limping Girl

Yesterday, Rommie, my oldest dog started limping.  After checking several things we decided to wait and see. I’d restrict her movement and keep her as calm as possible and if things didn’t get better we’d visit our wonderful vet in a day or so.  Rommie on restricted movement meant everyone on restricted movement since trying to get one or two dogs in or out at different times is more of an adventure than I am up to most days.

This afternoon I let everyone out for their 5 minute run, Snow, the cat, decided to join the dogs. He’s not on restriction so out he goes.

Five minutes later.

I open the door,  three bodies come running in the door. I count again, yup three, all black. “Rommie!” I see her, back to me, in her favorite sunny spot and her ear twitches.  Seriously? Damaged, limping, girl gives me an ear twitch? So I head out to where Rommie is enjoying her spot of sun, mumbling, loudly enough I know she can hear. The ear twitch turns into a head turn, which turns into a standing up, which turns into a slowly wagging tail and a slow limp towards me. As I slowly herd her back towards the house explaining how I know she just lost her fuzzy little brain to think I would ever leave her out with a limp that bad. And how good she about forgetting  the limp and running up and down the fence line so the limp gets worse. Rommie was sufficiently chastised by the time we got back to the door and headed to her new raised fluffy bed and settled down to sleep.

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I close the back door to find Snow, the only animal cleared to still be outside running towards the closed door. He apparently came in with the rest and was now unhappy that I wasn’t letting him back out.

A weak mommy moment

Bear: (Spends evening covering living room with fluff.)
Me: Bedtime! (Kennels Bear and Tramp, gives bedtime treats, head back to living room and clean up fluff and toys)

Next morning

Me: (Lets boys out of kennels, fakes cheerful voice) Good morning Boys
Bear: Hi Mom!
Tramp: Yeah right.
Bear: (Trotting down hallway, turns corner to living room, stops in his tracks) Whoa, what happened?
Me: Keep going Bear, time to go out!
Bear: The fluff! All my fluff is gone! I worked on that all night long!
Tramp: Dude, grumbling at Mom first thing in the morning? Bad idea.
Me: No kidding, the kettle hasn’t even started warming the water yet.
Bear: Mother, we need to talk about this when I get back.
Me: Go for it. (Locking door, wondering if it duct tape would seal it permanently)

Bear: (Hits door handle a little while later to be let in)
Me: (Opens door )
Bear: (Sits in front of me with stern puppy look) Mother, I worked all night long to get all of the fluff just how I wanted it in the living room. I was looking forward to playing with it today.
Me: (Gives up trying to hide smile and covers face with hands) Oh baby Bear I’m so sorry. (Sits down in front of Bear) I didn’t realize you had done that on purpose you didn’t tell me. I must have had a weak mommy moment and cleaned the living room. I am so sorry! (Acts very upset, hands still covering face)

Everyone is very quiet.

Tramp: (Jumps in my lap and starts licking my chin)
Lady: I’m pretty sure she’s faking
Rommie: I am so not getting involved.
Bear: Um Mom, it’s ok, (bumps my hands with nose) I’m not mad, I should have told you. Mom?
Me: So you’re not mad? (I mumble through my hands)
Bear: Nope, not mad
Me: (Grabs Bear in hug) I want a Bear Kiss!
Bear: (Wiggles out of my reach) Mother! You were faking!
Me: Of course I was, a weak mommy moment? Really?
Bear: That is so not fair! (Stalks off to his kennel)

I’m sure that’s a toy

Bear is chewing on a blue plastic thing. 
I’m pretty sure it used to be part of a larger dog toy. 
Mostly sure. 
I think it was. 
I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t, it’s not something I will be upset about if it breaks. 
There. 
I’m good. 
Bear’s a good boy!

Scritch Magic – Take two

Bear: (Walking out of hallway with one of my socks in his mouth)
Me: Bear! Give me that!
Bear: (Walks towards me, picking up every toy in his mouth on the way so they are in front of the sock. He’s up to five fitting in his mouth. Sits in front of me, jaws locked, mouth full of toys, sock no longer visible)
Me: SIGH (Digs toys out one by one, gets to extremely soggy sock and pulls it out of Bear’s mouth)
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: My sock, go away.
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: No!
Bear: (Puts head on my leg, gives me sad puppy eyes)
Me: (Scritches nose, head, ears, neck) There, go play now.
Bear: Yay! (Heads off to play)
Me: Scritch magic worked again!

Housework in my world

And this is why anything housecleaning related takes twice as long:

Me: It’s Thursday night!
Bear: And?
Me: We get to clean up the living room! I get to see the floor again!
Bear: No!!! That isn’t fair! I don’t like it when you move my toys.
Me: Right, One day a week I get a clean living room. Deal with it.
Bear: (Notices plastic bag in my hand) Mother, what is THAT for?
Me: Fluff, shredded boxes and various toy body parts that are no longer attached
Bear: (Giving me a horrified look) What are you going to do with it?
Me: Why don’t you go out. Are you sure the backyard is still there?
Bear: Out! I need to go out!
Me: (Quickly picking up all the previously listed items and putting them in trash)
Bear: (Banging door handle after confirming location of backyard)
Me: (Letting him back in) Ok, ready to pick up all the toys?
Bear: (Wilts) If we have to.
Me: (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops in exact same spot)
Me: Bear, this isn’t going to work if you bring everything back.
Bear: Ok Mom
Me: (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops in exact same spot)
Me: Bear.
Bear: What?
Me: One more time and leave the dog bed in your room this time.
Bear: (Looks at me)
Me: Right (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops bed and stands on it)
Me: Ok, time for something different. (Picks up Bears empty toy box and starts picking up toys, filling the toy box)
Bear: (Still standing on bed) Wait! Don’t move those!
Me: (Gets last toy picked up and squished into toy box. Looks at Bear)
Bear: (Comes over to make sure all of his toys are safe.)
Me: (Walks towards boys room, grabs dog bed off the floor, stacks it on top of the top box and drops the whole thing in the boys room.)
Bear: Mother!!!!!!!
Me: (Quickly turns on vacuum)
Bear: Wait! I have to go protect my toys! (Runs to back room until the monster is done making noise)
Me: Oh look a clean living room 🙂