Bear is chewing on a blue plastic thing.
I’m pretty sure it used to be part of a larger dog toy.
Mostly sure.
I think it was.
I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t, it’s not something I will be upset about if it breaks.
There.
I’m good.
Bear’s a good boy!
Scritch Magic – Take two
Bear: (Walking out of hallway with one of my socks in his mouth)
Me: Bear! Give me that!
Bear: (Walks towards me, picking up every toy in his mouth on the way so they are in front of the sock. He’s up to five fitting in his mouth. Sits in front of me, jaws locked, mouth full of toys, sock no longer visible)
Me: SIGH (Digs toys out one by one, gets to extremely soggy sock and pulls it out of Bear’s mouth)
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: My sock, go away.
Bear: (Still looking at me)
Me: No!
Bear: (Puts head on my leg, gives me sad puppy eyes)
Me: (Scritches nose, head, ears, neck) There, go play now.
Bear: Yay! (Heads off to play)
Me: Scritch magic worked again!
Housework in my world
And this is why anything housecleaning related takes twice as long:
Me: It’s Thursday night!
Bear: And?
Me: We get to clean up the living room! I get to see the floor again!
Bear: No!!! That isn’t fair! I don’t like it when you move my toys.
Me: Right, One day a week I get a clean living room. Deal with it.
Bear: (Notices plastic bag in my hand) Mother, what is THAT for?
Me: Fluff, shredded boxes and various toy body parts that are no longer attached
Bear: (Giving me a horrified look) What are you going to do with it?
Me: Why don’t you go out. Are you sure the backyard is still there?
Bear: Out! I need to go out!
Me: (Quickly picking up all the previously listed items and putting them in trash)
Bear: (Banging door handle after confirming location of backyard)
Me: (Letting him back in) Ok, ready to pick up all the toys?
Bear: (Wilts) If we have to.
Me: (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops in exact same spot)
Me: Bear, this isn’t going to work if you bring everything back.
Bear: Ok Mom
Me: (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops in exact same spot)
Me: Bear.
Bear: What?
Me: One more time and leave the dog bed in your room this time.
Bear: (Looks at me)
Me: Right (Picks up dog bed, carries it back to boys room, drops it inside the door)
Bear: (Follows me, picks dog bed up, brings it back to living room drops bed and stands on it)
Me: Ok, time for something different. (Picks up Bears empty toy box and starts picking up toys, filling the toy box)
Bear: (Still standing on bed) Wait! Don’t move those!
Me: (Gets last toy picked up and squished into toy box. Looks at Bear)
Bear: (Comes over to make sure all of his toys are safe.)
Me: (Walks towards boys room, grabs dog bed off the floor, stacks it on top of the top box and drops the whole thing in the boys room.)
Bear: Mother!!!!!!!
Me: (Quickly turns on vacuum)
Bear: Wait! I have to go protect my toys! (Runs to back room until the monster is done making noise)
Me: Oh look a clean living room 🙂
Homemade Pez Dispenser
Bear: (Moving food around the bottom of the food dish, flips food dish over, pushes upside down food dish across carpet, stops to eat each kibble as it works its way out from under the food dish)
Me: Oh, now I get it! You figured out how to make Pez dispensers!
Bear: (Sits down, looks at me) What’s a Pez dispenser?
Me: Something that with any luck at all you will never see or eat. Do you want me to flip the dish back over?
Bear: Yes, please.
Me: (Flips dish back over to reveal a pile of about 10 kibbles left)
Bear: (Eats all of the kibbles, looks at the empty food dish starts biting the sides and licking every inch of the inside of the food dish.)
Me: Bear, Why are you doing that?
Bear: I’m still hungry!
Me: I don’t suppose you noticed the full food dish next to you?
Bear: (Looks at other dish) Yeah but I don’t want that food.
Me: That food? Do I want to know what transition occurred after I scooped it out of the same bag as the food you just ate?
Tramp: No you don’t!
Me: Really? This sounds interesting
Tramp: Sigh
Bear: Lady touched it! It’s icky now!
Lady: (Walks by and takes a kibble from each dish and eats it, goes off to take a nap.)
Bear: See! They are all ruined now!!!
Pigpen revisited
Rachel ‘s cat Snow apparently decided to play with Bear this morning. The best I can figure is Bear buried the silly cat. They come in from the back yard, Bear obviously having rolled in the grass and Snow COMPLETELY covered in dirt and grass. Completely. Dust was puffing off of him as he walked.
The Boy Learns
Bear: (Head butting the closed kitchen doors)
Me: Bear! Stop! That!
Bear: But Mom! I want in the kitchen!
Me: Really? I had no idea.
Tramp: (Snickers)
Bear: Mother (Sits in his pretty sits, gives me his sad puppy stare) please let me in the kitchen.
Me: No. I’m making pulled chicken and you aren’t allowed in there right now.
Bear: But it smel.. Uh I left a toy in there
Tramp: Wow, the boy’s learning
Me: Bear, even though you can’t get to what “smells good” in there, I’ve already cleaned paw prints off the counters a couple of times today and have no interest in doing it again right now.
Bear: (Walks over to where I am sitting, puts his paws in my lap and gives me a Bear kiss) Please!
Tramp: Goodness he’s pulling out all the stops.
Me: (Hugs Bear) Nope, not going to work.
Bear: Fine (Leaves living room, scratches in his kennel for a little while, sighs loud enough to be heard in the living room and plops down to take a nap.)
Snowtrill's Space 