Confusion Strikes

Me: (Putting potato in microwave, moving dish of pulled chicken to back of counter. Leaving kitchen while dinner cooks)
Bear: (Quietly walks into kitchen, over to counter, slowly jumps up to put front paws on counter.)
Me: Bear? Something you needed?
Bear: (Looks at me while still standing at the counter, tilts head, drops down and looks confused.) Yeah Mom? (Head still tilted walks to me.)
Me: You’re going with confusion?
Bear: (Sits next to me, head still tilted) I’m hungry Mom!
Me: Three piles of food next to the dishes in my dining room would dispute that fact Baby Bear.
Bear: (Puts head in my lap, looks at me. Suddenly jumps across my lap) Bear Kisses!!!!
Me: Ah! There we go!

Encouragement

Tramp: Mom! Bear is stealing my blankets!

Me: (Walking into the room with their kennels) Bear?

Bear: (Dragging Tramp’s blankets into his kennel) What?

Me: What are you doing?

Bear: I want more blankets

Me: Two towels, one sheet and a blanket isn’t enough?

Bear: No!

Me: Wait, how exactly did you get his blankets, he has a small kennel.

Bear: Like this (Squeezes into the kennel designed for dogs up to 20 pounds, “turns around” and comes back out, head first)

Me: Wow, I’m impressed, how on earth did you turn around in there?

Tramp: MOTHER, Do NOT encourage him!

Me: Right, like it’s going to make a difference in what he does.

Bear: So can I keep the blankets?

Tramp: NO

Me: No, but if you want I will wash all of yours so they will be clean and warm tonight

Bear: (Launches into his kennel) No!!!!!!!

Tramp: (Grabs his blanket and drags it back to his kennel mumbling)

Gravity Works

Bear: (Climbing onto the recliner with me carrying the Christmas puppy toy that barks.)

Me: (Squeezing the dog to start it barking) Sweetie, don’t drop the toy

Bear: Ok Mom (drops the toy)

Me: (Leaning down to get the toy) Bear, I just told you to not drop the toy

Bear: (Taking the toy back) Sorry Mom (Drops the toy on top of Betsy) Mom! Betsy took my toy!

Betsy: Really??

Me: (Reaching down to pick the toy up off Betsy’s shoulder) Bear, one more time and you are following the toy.

Bear: Mom, that’s no fair! (Turns his head so it looks like he dropped it again)

Me: (Leaning down to make sure the toy didn’t hit Betsy)

Bear: (Holding the toy by the tip of one of the antlers) Ha Mom! I fooled you. (Drops toy) Uh-oh.

Starving with Puppy Food

Bear: (Carrying one of the food dishes) Mom!!! Betsy ate all the food, I’m starving to death!!!

Me: Starving? Really??

Bear: (Shaking food dish, then drops it) Yes! It’s empty!

Me: Did you by any chance notice the other 3 mostly full food dishes?

Bear: No! This is MY dish and Betsy ate all my food!

Me: Tell me again when this became your food dish? I could have sworn the one in your kennel with the puppy food was yours.

Bear: Yuck! I hate puppy food!

Me: I noticed.

Bear: (Picks up food dish and drops it again) Mom! Starving here!!

Me: Why don’t you go kennel so you can eat?

Bear: Mom!!!

Me: Bear!!!

Bear: (Grumbles) I don’t know why you make me eat the puppy food anyway, I’m a big boy!

Betsy: Puppy food? Where?? I want puppy food!!

Bear: No way Betsy! That’s MY food, you can’t have any!!! (Runs to kennel) Mom, hurry up and let me in!

It’s not Missing, Just Found

Tramp: Mom, where are my blankets?

Me: They should be in your kennel

Tramp: Nope, it’s empty

Me: Bear! What did you do with Tramp’s blankets???

Bear: Mumble, mumble (pause) Nothing!

Tramp: Mom! He stole my blankets again!

Bear: (Sitting on Tramp’s blanket in the living room) Nu-uh I just find them!

Me: Really? Where? (Walking over to stand on the blanket)

Bear: He left them!

Tramp: In my kennel!

Me: Cheer up Tramp, he won’t fit in there much longer to steal them.

Bear: Fine! (Grabs the blanket and starts running to the back door)

Me: (Still standing on the blanket)

Bear: (Hits the end of the blanket and spins around) Mom!

Me: (Picking up the blanket and prying Bear’s mouth open to get the blanket) Tramp, How about I wash it so it will be warm and clean when you go to bed tonight?

Tramp: Yay!!!

Bear: Me too!

Me: Bear, I’m guessing you don’t remember the last blanket adventure

Bear: What adventure???