Me: (Picking up Snow from in front of the door and holding him while I let the dogs out)
Snow: I want to go out too!
Me: Not for a couple of weeks, we are too close to Halloween.
Me: You are a black cat, some people like to hurt black cats around this time of year.
Snow: That’s silly I don’t bother anyone.
Me: (Puts Snow on back of recliner next to door) How about I pet you every time I let the dogs in or out?
Snow: Really? Does that mean you like me?
Me: I suppose I could agree to those terms.
Snow: (Jumps off recliner) Score!
Snow: (Permanently attached to the back of the recliner)
Me: (Letting the dogs out, petting Snow)
Snow: I’m kinda thinking you love me!
Me: Don’t push it
Me: (Letting the dogs in, petting Snow)
Snow: Wow I’m starting to think I might be your favorite!
Me: Right. (Note to self, cats don’t get sarcasm)
Bear: (Hits seat of recliner, flips Snow off the top) Excuse me? What did you say?
Snow: You heard her, I’m her favorite!
Bear: (Sits on Snow) Mother!
Me: Bear, what have we decided about the cats and squeaking?
Bear: They aren’t supposed to but he said he’s your favorite. A cat can’t be your favorite. Besides he isn’t squeaking anymore.
Me: Bear, he stopped squeaking because he can’t breathe!
Me: So, I am not explaining to Rachel why Snow got turned into a pancake, stand up!
Bear: (Stands up, snorts) Silly cat!
Snow: (Taking several deep breaths) Tell me again why I shouldn’t go outside?