Category: Puppy

Me: (Quietly putting Bears blanket in the washer)

Tramp: He is not going to be happy with you.

Me: If you will stay quiet he probably won't even notice.

Bear: (From living room) Mom!!!! OMG, OMG, OMG Mom!!!!!! We have an emergency!

Tramp: (Rolls eyes) Told you….

Me: (Taking a deep breath) Bear?

Bear: (Runs into kitchen, tries to stop, slides into me and the washer) MOM!!!! Someone stole my blanket!!! We need to call someone and (Pause) Mother, what are you putting in the washer?

Me: Your blanket

Bear: You stole my blanket!

Tramp: (snorts)

Me: No, I picked your blanket up off the living room floor and decided to wash it since you brought it out of your kennel.

Bear: Nooooooo it can't be washed!!! It's mine!

Me: Then in the future I would suggest leaving it in your kennel where I don't trip over it

Bear: Mother! How could you? It will smell funny now and I won't be able to sleep!

Me: I am sure you will get over it

Bear: Hrmp! (Sits in front of washer)

Tramp: Bear, what are you doing?

Bear: Guarding my blanket

Tramp: You know it's going to take awhile and you have the attention span of a gnat, right?

Bear: Nope! Going to guard my blanket as long as it takes!

 

A few minutes later

 

Me: (Picking up toys off the floor and putting them in the toy box)

Bear: (Running and grabbing the toy I am reaching for) Mom! I have them where I want them.

Tramp: Bear! Your blanket is unguarded!

Bear: (Runs back to washer)

Tramp: This could be fun…. 

Me: (Hears something plastic being pushed, dropped and rolled down the hallway) Bear, should I ask what you are doing or just wait until you get here?
Bear: (Stops making noise) Mom! My food dish is EMPTY!
Me: The one in your kennel you dumped out this morning?
Bear: Yes! It's empty!
Me: That generally happens when you upend your bowl.
Bear: Mother! I'm hungry! I need more food.
Me: Bear, you have better than half a bag of food in and around your kennel because you turn your dish upside down every time I fill it up.
Bear: So?
Me: So, eat the food in and around your kennel. 
Bear: But it's dirty!
Me: Really? You want to go there?
Bear: SIGH

Bear: Mom!!! (Jumping into my lap while I'm sitting in the recliner)

Tramp: Mom!! (Landing on the one spot on my leg Bear hasn't taken over)

Me:  Bear, good grief you are getting heavy.  (Struggling to move the rather heavy and wiggly puppy to a less painful place in the recliner)

Bear: Put the leg thing up!

Tramp: Yeah! We can all fit then

Me: (Raising the leg rest) Just be careful, it won't hold you up if you get on the end of it.

Bear: Sure it will, we've done this lots!

Tramp: (Stretching out against my leg)

Bear: (Lays down on the other side of tramp and notices Betsy on the floor)

Me: Bear, the leg rest won't hold you up if you scoot out much more. 

Bear: (Crawling out to the end of the leg rest to look over at Betsy) See Mom it's fine!

Me: (Feeling the leg rest start to move) Sure Sweetie…

Bear:(Stands up quickly)

 

The leg rest folds, Tramp and Bear go flying off the recliner. The leg rest pops back up.

 

Bear: Mother! You did that on purpose!

Tramp: Yeah! That's not fair!!!

Me: (Laughing) And I suppose it's my fault you are getting so big.

Bear: Yes! I don't think I'm going to sit with you again

Tramp: Yeah right, I'm snuggling with Mom. (Hops back up next to me leg and lays down)

Bear: Wait! I get to sit with Mom too! (Jumps back on the chair and plops down, causing the leg rest to fold again…)

 

Me:  (Walking back to the recliner to find Bear sitting very still in the chair)

Bear: (Quickly getting down)

Me: (Looking around and noticing several black hair on the inside rim of my coffee cup) Bear, did you drink my coffee?

Bear: uhh Nope

Me: Are you sure?  I don't remember seeing black hair in it before.

Bear: Nope, I wouldn't drink your stuff!

Me: (taking the cup to the kitchen to pour it out and get a new one.)

 

Several seconds pass

 

Bear: Mom? Why would you drink something that tastes that bad?

Me: (grinning now) With the single exception of Rachel's crazy dog, none of you furbabies like it so I generally don't end up having get new drinks all the time. Besides, I like the flavor.

Bear: (Wrinkles his nose)

Me: Bear? How do you know it tastes bad if you didn't drink out of my cup?

Bear: (Freezes for a second then launches at me) Bear Kisses!!!! You need Bear Kisses!!!!