The Toy Stash

Me: (Standing in front of the dryer pulling toys out of the stash bag hanging over the dyer.)
Bear: (Running up to me, Tramp following close behind) Mother! What are you doing? 
Me: (Pulling tag and stickers off the toys) Taking all the stuff off the toys so they are safe for you guys. 
Bear: (Stands up with paws on dryer trying to reach toys in my hand) You always take so long to do that, you need to do that before!

Me: What if this is a before and I'm not going to give you these toys?
Bear: (Wilts into a sit) Mother, you wouldn't!
Me: (Holds up two toys) Bear the big one and Tramp the little one? 
Bear: No! I can hold both of those in my mouth I want both!
Tramp: sigh
Me: Bear, one or none.
Bear: Fine, the small one!
Tramp: This is gonna be fun.
Me: (Hands Bear the small one, reaches over to hand Tramp the big one)
Bear: (Accidentally drops the small one while reaching for the big one)
Tramp: (Grabs the small one as it hits the floor and runs out of the kitchen)
Bear: Mom! Tramp stole my toy! 
Me: And?
Orginally published September 17, 2012

Friday the 13th Adventures

Morning:

Stumble over two blankets, a sheet and "four" dog beds all making an attempt to create a mountain in my living room. 
While the boys are outside, I throw the sheet and one of the blankets in the washer.

Lunchtime:

Pull sheet and blanket out of dryer, take them back to the boys room with Bear firmly attached to the blanket. 
Stuff blanket in Bears kennel (with Bear) and put sheet in Tramps kennel.
Head back to washer to move the next set of blankets to the dryer.
Walk into living room to find the recently washed blanket and sheet on the floor.
Pick up blanket (with Bear attachment) and sheet. Drag back to their room put items back in kennels
Lecture Bear about leaving blankets in living room and stealing Tramps blanket (again).

Afternoon: 

Check living room and find it surprisingly blanket free. 
Grab last blankets out of dryer, walk through living room (picking up Bear attachment) and head down the hallway. Stumble on a familiar blanket and sheet.
Put two blankets and Bear attachment in kennel. Walk back into hallway pick up blanket and sheet, put them back where they belong. 
Lock Bear in his kennel

Have a great weekend everyone!

What Lock?

Me: (Getting home from Austin, letting Bear and Tramp out of their kennels)

Bear: MOTHER!!!! You will never believe what happened today!  It was the scariest day ever! I thought we were never going to see you again!!!

Tramp: Thank god you finally got home!

Me: (Settling down on the floor with Bear and Tramp doing their best to both fit in my lap) Goodness,  what happened?

Bear: You went away and I kept jumping on the door so you'd hear and come let me out! Then Tramp did something  to the door.  This Lady came to visit, I liked her she put treats under the door!

Tramp: She's our sitter you idiot.  She comes to visit if Mom goes away for a long time.

Bear: I liked her but she wouldn't open the door and let us out. It was very scary, I don't know what Tramp did but he had to have done something!

Me: (Scratching Tramps head before he could comment) Sorry to tell you this Baby Bear, but there is no way Tramp locked the door, he can't reach it. You are the only one who could have locked the door.

Bear: I didn't do it, I promise! Did you see Tramp gave me his blanket?

Tramp: Seriously? I am going to lock you in my kennel the next time you "steal" my blanket!

Bear: Oh then Rachel came, she called me an idiot.

Tramp: Yeah, and?

Bear: She made some funny noises and took the longest time opening the door.  I had to growl at her to get her to hurry.

Tramp: Pretty sure it wasn't your growling that made her hurry, I'm just glad she just didn't leave at that point and force me to be stuck with you ALL day!

Me: Wow, sounds very scary.

Bear: It was!

Tramp: (groans) The only scary part was being stuck with him!

Bear: Then the nice lady came back and opened the door and let us out. I gave her some of my toys to play with so she'd stay.

Tramp: At least she came back. That's more than I would have done.

Bear: (Standing up, putting both paws on my shoulders, looking at me intently) Mother! You can't ever, ever leave again!

Tramp: (Snorts) Right, if you weren't so silly it wouldn't be a big deal.

Me: (Moving Bear's paws so I can hug him) How about I fix the door so it can't lock again? That way Lori can visit and I can occasionally leave the house. 

Bear: (Plopping back down in my lap) I don't know, I bet that lock is just waiting to trap me again!

 

Dust? What Dust

Me: (Pulling a swiffer duster out of the box)

Bear: (Running up to me) Mom! That's a really cool toy!

Tramp: Toy? What Toy?

 Me: (Hanging on to the swiffer with both hands) Nope! I need to dust the TV.

Bear:  But Mom! We can help!

Me: (Sitting down in front of the TV stand) 

Tramp: (Stands on my left, focused on the fuzzy swiffer) Mom, we really can help. 

Bear: (Standing on my right, just as focused) Yeah, we can! 

Me: (Starting to dust bottom shelf from back to front)

Bear: (Tries to squeeze into TV Stand)

Me: Bear! Stop that! 

Bear: (Manages to grab the swiffer and starts backing out quickly)

Me: (Yanking swiffer away from Bear)

Tramp: (Catches swiffer as I swing back and pulls the fuzzy part off the handle, runs to the other side of the living room with Bear in hot pursuit)

Me: Oh nice, now you two are working together?

Bear: (Grabs the free end of the swiffer and pulls, splitting it in two)

Me: Alright, that does it!

Bear and Tramp: (Freeze, looking at me with wide eyes)

Me: Y'all better give those back! (Slowly stalking my boys)

Lady: (Moving away from the open door)

Bear and Tramp: (Head out the back door at top speed, each with half a swiffer)

Me: (Chasing the boys to start a game of keep away that kept the TV from getting dusted that day)

Encouragement

Tramp: Mom! Bear is stealing my blankets!

Me: (Walking into the room with their kennels) Bear?

Bear: (Dragging Tramp’s blankets into his kennel) What?

Me: What are you doing?

Bear: I want more blankets

Me: Two towels, one sheet and a blanket isn’t enough?

Bear: No!

Me: Wait, how exactly did you get his blankets, he has a small kennel.

Bear: Like this (Squeezes into the kennel designed for dogs up to 20 pounds, “turns around” and comes back out, head first)

Me: Wow, I’m impressed, how on earth did you turn around in there?

Tramp: MOTHER, Do NOT encourage him!

Me: Right, like it’s going to make a difference in what he does.

Bear: So can I keep the blankets?

Tramp: NO

Me: No, but if you want I will wash all of yours so they will be clean and warm tonight

Bear: (Launches into his kennel) No!!!!!!!

Tramp: (Grabs his blanket and drags it back to his kennel mumbling)

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