Category: Puppy

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Asking for help, sort of

Me: Ok Bear, Facebook is up

Bear: Mother, this is silly

Me: Really? Bright pink spots on my carpet is silly?

Bear: Oh yeah. So to all the wonderfully smart people out there, I found a really cool pink sharpie and thought it was a chew toy. Mom caught me and took it away but not before I left some really cool pink spots on my paws, Rommie's paws and the carpet. It made some really cool designs that I like looking at!

Me: Bear!

Bear: Right, now I’m supposed t o ask if anyone knows any tricks to getting pink sharpie out of the carpet. Mom has tried a couple of cleaners but luckily the cool designs are still there.

Me: Bear!

Bear: Sigh, I am kinda tired of Mom fussing at me every time she sees the pink which is a lot since it's in front of the back door. I suppose it would be ok if anyone has ideas that would help. ..

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Lots and lots of Energy

Me: Bear, I know you have a lot of energy but you need to find something else to do. 
Bear: (Continuing to bump my leg with his nose, as he has been doing since about 5:30) Ok
Me: Bear! Stop! Go find something to do!
Bear: (Wonders off)
Me: (Looks up a few minutes later) Bear! Stop! (Rescuing spinning fiber, drop spindle and wrist distaff from Bear)
Bear: (Sits in front of me and gets very close to a puppy glare) What?
Me: Let me rephrase, find something to do that doesn't involve annoying me or causing damage to anything not on the approved list.
Bear: And what exactly would that be?
Me: (Thinks for a few seconds) oh I know, you need to go outside and play with Rommie!

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Tug of War!

Me: (Holding the squeaky elephant toy) Hey Bear! Want to play? 
Bear: (Running out of the kitchen) Yeah! (Grabs end of elephant ear and lays down)
Me: Really? This is how you play tug-of-war? 
Bear: (Starts backing up slowly low to the ground)
Me: Oh it was a trick! (pulls back on toy)
Toy: (SQUEAK)
Bear: (Drops toy and looks at me) Mother! That is not how you are supposed to squeak the toy.
Me: C'mon Bear, let's play! (Holding out toy)
Bear: (Grabs toy and pulls backwards)
Toy: (SQUEAK)
Bear: (Freezes, looks at me for a second. Starts inching down the toy with his mouth until he gets the elephant head in his mouth. Puts paw next to my hand and pushes until I let go)
Me: You don't want to play anymore? 
Bear: (Lays down with his back to me starts squeaking the toy the "right" way) (mumbling) silly Mom, that is not how you squeak the toy!

Next Afternoon

Me: (Holding the squeaky elephant toy) Hey Bear! Want to play?

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Sneezes

Me: (Feels the start of a sneezing attack)

Bear: (Running from the back room) Mother! Did you hear that noise???

Me: (Sneeze)

Bear: (Looking at me oddly) Mother! Are you going to die????

Me: (Sneeze) No (Sneeze)

Bear: (Puts his front paws in my lap and stands nose to nose with me)

Me: Bear! (Sneezing off to the side to keep from bumping heads)

Bear: Mother! (Puts nose on mine) You need to stop that!

Me: (Sneeze, sneeze)

Bear: Mother! I said stop!

Me: (Sneeze) Bear, it's not like I can control it.

Bear: (Pushes nose against mine) Mom! Don't die!

Me: (Laughing, sneeze) Sweetie, sneezes aren't fatal

Bear: Oh good (Hops off my lap and heads back to his room)

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What Lock?

Me: (Getting home from Austin, letting Bear and Tramp out of their kennels)

Bear: MOTHER!!!! You will never believe what happened today!  It was the scariest day ever! I thought we were never going to see you again!!!

Tramp: Thank god you finally got home!

Me: (Settling down on the floor with Bear and Tramp doing their best to both fit in my lap) Goodness,  what happened?

Bear: You went away and I kept jumping on the door so you'd hear and come let me out! Then Tramp did something  to the door.  This Lady came to visit, I liked her she put treats under the door!

Tramp: She's our sitter you idiot.  She comes to visit if Mom goes away for a long time.

Bear: I liked her but she wouldn't open the door and let us out. It was very scary, I don't know what Tramp did but he had to have done something!

Me: (Scratching Tramps head before he could comment) Sorry to tell you this Baby Bear, but there is no way Tramp locked the door, he can't reach it. You are the only one who could have locked the door.

Bear: I didn't do it, I promise! Did you see Tramp gave me his blanket?

Tramp: Seriously? I am going to lock you in my kennel the next time you "steal" my blanket!

Bear: Oh then Rachel came, she called me an idiot.

Tramp: Yeah, and?

Bear: She made some funny noises and took the longest time opening the door.  I had to growl at her to get her to hurry.

Tramp: Pretty sure it wasn't your growling that made her hurry, I'm just glad she just didn't leave at that point and force me to be stuck with you ALL day!

Me: Wow, sounds very scary.

Bear: It was!

Tramp: (groans) The only scary part was being stuck with him!

Bear: Then the nice lady came back and opened the door and let us out. I gave her some of my toys to play with so she'd stay.

Tramp: At least she came back. That's more than I would have done.

Bear: (Standing up, putting both paws on my shoulders, looking at me intently) Mother! You can't ever, ever leave again!

Tramp: (Snorts) Right, if you weren't so silly it wouldn't be a big deal.

Me: (Moving Bear's paws so I can hug him) How about I fix the door so it can't lock again? That way Lori can visit and I can occasionally leave the house. 

Bear: (Plopping back down in my lap) I don't know, I bet that lock is just waiting to trap me again!

 

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Dust? What Dust

Me: (Pulling a swiffer duster out of the box)

Bear: (Running up to me) Mom! That's a really cool toy!

Tramp: Toy? What Toy?

 Me: (Hanging on to the swiffer with both hands) Nope! I need to dust the TV.

Bear:  But Mom! We can help!

Me: (Sitting down in front of the TV stand) 

Tramp: (Stands on my left, focused on the fuzzy swiffer) Mom, we really can help. 

Bear: (Standing on my right, just as focused) Yeah, we can! 

Me: (Starting to dust bottom shelf from back to front)

Bear: (Tries to squeeze into TV Stand)

Me: Bear! Stop that! 

Bear: (Manages to grab the swiffer and starts backing out quickly)

Me: (Yanking swiffer away from Bear)

Tramp: (Catches swiffer as I swing back and pulls the fuzzy part off the handle, runs to the other side of the living room with Bear in hot pursuit)

Me: Oh nice, now you two are working together?

Bear: (Grabs the free end of the swiffer and pulls, splitting it in two)

Me: Alright, that does it!

Bear and Tramp: (Freeze, looking at me with wide eyes)

Me: Y'all better give those back! (Slowly stalking my boys)

Lady: (Moving away from the open door)

Bear and Tramp: (Head out the back door at top speed, each with half a swiffer)

Me: (Chasing the boys to start a game of keep away that kept the TV from getting dusted that day)

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